As days go on I wonder why I do this why I go there all the things I do? Why I let someone tie me down or spank me I know why I like these things, but why do I let them happen. Are they good or bad. Well I try looking outside in to see what is going on. I see I have more control than I thing I have. The sub can say yes or no to the Dom. Can stop things at any time no matter who the Dom is. We should never for get our selves no mater who we are or what we do in life. 
I know I was raised to be this way my father dominated over his home and everyone in it we were to do as he said or pay the price. I grew to love and hate leather the sound, touch, and smell of it. The same with knowing my place and how to act, to be see and not heard, to help and ask for nothing, give my all to the person in control. 
I have moved in with my Dom and his wife about a months ago some may say this is odd, but it was just another step in the relationship. We share a lot of things and enjoy many of the same things it's nice to talk to someone any time I need someone there for me.
I don't need to be here for Attn but to help out with things that are need in the house . I thought I would need to cling to them at first. I may go out shopping, dinner, or girls night out  with "Queen"  or  "Dear" and I out on a date. Many times we just do our own things. 
I have to say I am feeling better about the new sub and "Dear" time together she is very new to the lifestyle so she needs to be shown the ins and outs of how it works. I need to only ask and he gives me what I need. She wants trinkets from him as he trains her. Wow, I would never ask for that. He did give me a gift for Valentines Day it made me feel good that he did that "Queen" told me he was not sure what to get me and that the new sub needs a lot from him unlike me. I was trained not to ask or expect gifts from my Doms .